Having it All

February 13, 2014

I just ran across an interesting article about how men and women define having it all and I have to say that I disagree with their conclusion.

First of all, their survey is confined to professionals and, second of all, they only surveyed 1,000 people. A survey of only 1,000 people isn’t very much of a survey and it didn’t say whether it was taken nationwide, cross-country, or if it was confined to one part of the country.

If the survey was taken in the south, the answers might be very different from the views of the people in the north, or the east from the west. And if is was a cross-section of people, that would only give them 250 people in each part of the country, not a very impressive number.

Perhaps if their survey’s premise was that their concept of having it all in terms of career, money, marriage, and children, was confined to professionals, the article might not have caught my eye. However, there was nothing in their conclusion that broke down their numbers, not their ages, careers, religions, races, socioeconomic groups, or geographical locations.

That said, their conclusion is “79 percent of guys think a strong, loving marriage plays a part in having it all, whereas only 66 percent of ladies say the same. In fact, not only do fewer women than men feel that marriage is key, but the number of women who say that neither marriage nor relationships factor into their definition has nearly doubled over the past year: from five percent in 2012 to nine percent in 2013.

“And when it comes to kids, 86 percent of dudes consider them part of their “having it all” definition – but for women, that number’s only 73 percent.”

My clients come from every part of the world and they span all religions, socioeconomic groups, and all ages, and their answers to that survey are vastly different.

There are very few women, single, divorced, career-oriented, or stay at home personalities, who don’t want to be in a committed relationship. In fact, the thing I hear most often is, “Am I destined to be alone? When am I going to meet my soul mate? Am I ever going to meet someone with whom I can have a committed relationship?

And most of them are looking for family. They want to have children and they want to “have it all.”

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