Is it Time to Settle Down?

April 7, 2014

Has there ever been a time in the history of humankind that a man or woman who was single, past a certain age, wasn’t told by his or her elders that she was being too picky?

It’s more than married people thinking that everyone should be married; it’s almost as if everyone is thinking there must be something wrong with you if you can’t find a spouse. And, it’s more than just finding someone you like, it’s finding someone who is ready to settle down with you and start a family.

Now the question is this: Does settle down mean that you have to settle for someone just for the sake of getting married? It’s the term “settle” that unsettles me because it implies that you are willing to settle for second or third best, or even someone whose ranking is less than that just for the sake of getting married.

There are so many people who despair of ever finding someone to marry that they marry the first person who asks them. But is it fair to either of them to marry someone just because it’s time to settle down?

What if one of them meets someone and falls head over heels in love with that person? What then? Do they stay married and yearn for their one true love, bemoaning the fact that they could have had it all if they waited a little longer until the right person came along?

What we hear most often is people saying they don’t want to end up alone. However, in a bad marriage, you will feel like you’re alone even if your spouse is sitting three feet away from you. And if your spouse is unfaithful, you will really be alone even if you are wearing a wedding band.

And what is wrong with not wanting to get married? Does it really mean that there is something wrong with you? Maybe you know yourself well enough to know that marriage is not for you and that you’re the type who equates freedom with being single and a prison sentence with being married.

Since people are living so much longer these days, the wiser course of action may be to accept the fact that some people are happier being single than they could ever be, shackled to the wrong person.

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