It isn’t surprising that dating sites for cheaters have looked into the habits and preferences of its users. Nor are most of the answers from their surveys.
Most people assume that men look to cheat with women who are more attractive than their wife or significant other, but according to their surveys, they found that the opposite is true. They even said that their wife or significant other is more intelligent and more interesting than their affair partner.
I doubt if the surveys were aimed at men who suddenly acquire great wealth and want a younger, more beautiful trophy wife to let the world know they have reached the top.
Without even looking at the answers of the men who aren’t rich and powerful, I could have predicted the results of the surveys. The overwhelming majority said that their mistress was more passionate, a better listener, and more caring.
The women who cheat said that their lover was a better listener, more passionate, and makes them feel more appreciated than their husband or significant other.
The reason that these answers were so predictable is that their lovers don’t have the same responsibilities as their spouses. They don’t have to worry about having enough money to pay the mortgage or to pay the orthodontist to put braces on their kid’s teeth.
They don’t have to worry about health insurance and paying doctors for medical treatments that aren’t covered under their health plan. They also don’t have to worry about straining the budget to replace clothing that their children have outgrown or buy school supplies or spend money on field trips for their children.
And they don’t have to live with the frustration of working at a job they don’t like, just to pay the bills. In short, their nightly discussions are vastly different from the discussions that take place between lovers.
It is so much easier to be the caring, passionate, attentive, good listener, who makes his or her partner feel valued and appreciated when you take away the daily worries that beset most married couples.
The affair partner gets to play the emotionally supportive lover mainly because he or she is not responsible for the important obligations that make up a real relationship. They get to have the fun without having to deal with the challenges that are part of all relationships.