Do Equal Chores Mean Less Sex?

October 15, 2014

Presumably, from the beginning of time, men equated the division of “female” chores and “male” chores with the frequency of sex. In the earlier studies, probably done by men, they found that when women did the cleaning, child rearing, grocery shopping, cooking, etc., and the men did the “manly” things like changing the lightbulbs, mow the lawn, handle the family finances, etc., they had more sex.

I’m sorry I didn’t conduct my own studies in those years because I distinctly remember men complaining that their wife was always too tired, had a headache, had to get up early to get the kids dressed, fed, and ready for school, and whatever other excuses they could come up with as to why they weren’t in the mood to have sex.

According to the more recent studies, but not necessarily the latest studies, when there is an equal division of labor, and chores are not designated as gender specific, the frequency rate goes down appreciably.

It sounds so illogical that it makes one wonder who their subjects were. If a woman has to do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, taking care of all the household chores, as well as taking care of the kids, it’s no surprise that by the time she gets the kids to bed at night, she’s exhausted and isn’t in the mood for sex.

Another major factor is that in the old days when men and women were pigeonholed in traditional roles, sex was not a subject that they discussed openly with each other. In the absence of these discussions and in the absence of information about what makes a good lover and, what it takes to have a satisfying sexual relationship, many men didn’t know how to satisfy their wives and women didn’t know how to change the status quo.

Today, as more women join the workforce and more men are taking on the role of stay-at-home dad and doing most of the household chores, it’s just as likely that he will be the one who will tell his wife, “Not tonight, honey; I’m too tired.”

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