We always hear people talking about falling in love, falling out of love, looking for love, looking for love in all the wrong places, or not wanting to be in love for fear of getting hurt. What we don’t hear too often is falling in like.
Falling in like doesn’t give you the same sizzle as falling in love but there is still a chemistry that has to take place for the relationship to succeed. For one thing, you have to enjoy each other’s company and feel good about yourself when you’re with the other person. For another thing, you have to have things to talk about, which can be noticeably absent in couples where the primary emotion is love.
We’re so accustomed to people talking about the need to have “chemistry” in a romantic relationship but we don’t hear much about the necessity to find things to talk about. Even knowing that physical attraction is such a big part of the chemistry, people still have to get out of bed some of the time.
Sex usually gets in the way of people getting to know each other more than in the biblical way. What they experience is not always liking each other which is why many people have been known to say, “I love him, but I don’t like him” or “I love her but I’m not sure I like her.”
If you’re looking for Mr. or Ms. Right, a partner for life, it makes more sense to put the physical chemistry on hold until you fall in like. After all, married couples will be dealing with endless issues that involve discussions and arguments centering around core values, interests, and an assortment of different points of view. It makes it easier to handle difficult emotional issues when you like each other than if you just love each other.
When couples get divorced, we often hear that love wasn’t enough, but could it be that the reason they thought that love wasn’t enough is because they didn’t like each other enough?