Does Marriage Kill Romance?

August 10, 2014

I’ve known some couples that are happily married, but I don’t think I’ve ever met a couple that was still romantically in love as well as being happily married.

Usually, women are more inclined to do the romantic gestures but I remember meeting a couple where it was the opposite. He was always sending her romantic cards and doing romantic things and she just shrugged her shoulders and didn’t look especially appreciative, saying only, “He’s the romantic one in this family. He’s always sending me flowers and greeting cards and telling me he loves me.”

I remember looking around the room at the other women who were there to see if they had the same impression of her. I thought she was nuts not to be over the moon that her husband of many years and several children later, still showed his love for her in so many romantic ways. When one of the women questioned her about her attitude she shrugged her shoulders and said, “I’m the practical one in this relationship.”

To this day, I’ve wondered why being practical has to kill being romantic. Why can’t a person be both? Why can’t you worry about paying the bills and still feel as romantic as you did when you fell in love with your spouse?

I realize that you are more apt to feel romantic when you are not living with each other but, still, why does one have to nullify the other? Why can’t you live with someone for many years, and still feel the same pull toward your spouse even though you know each other so well? In fact, why doesn’t knowing all the foibles of your spouse make you love him or her even more and make you feel just as much lust and the urge to do over the top romantic gestures as you first did?

With this in mind, it’s no wonder that so many couples are saying yes to romance and no to marriage.

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