Getting a Fake ID

September 21, 2014

It used to be that if you wanted to get a fake ID, you’d have to know someone connected to the underworld. It was always a matter of knowing someone who knew someone who knew someone. Just for the hell of it, I did a Google search to see if that was still true.

I discovered that the Internet really is the Super Highway of Information. There were umpteen zillion businesses, out in the open, advertising how to get a fake ID. You want to disappear? Here are all these lovely companies set up to help you disappear into thin air.

I guess the reason I started thinking about how difficult it must be to vanish without a trace is because of my recent experience with a department store. The other day, I wanted to buy something that was on sale in this department store and it was only going to be on sale for two more days and I couldn’t get there before the sale ended.

If you had the store’s credit card, you could do it over the phone. That left me out. Before this store bought out another department store, I had their credit card but I never converted their card to this one. Now, here’s why I don’t think I could disappear off the face of the earth without a trace, even if I were so inclined.

I applied for a credit card with the previous department store about fifty years ago. In the meantime, I moved all over the place and had a zillion addresses and never got around to updating my information. Did that matter? Nope. Not one bit.

In less time than it takes me to sign my name, this store that bought out the other department store more than a decade or two ago, took the information from my 50-year-old credit card and issued me a new credit card in their own name. Then they told me to call the credit department and update my current address so that I could get an additional 20% off my purchases when they sent me my first bill.

It was so easy. They had every single address of mine over the last fifty years as well as everything but my blood type. And now that I think about it, they probably could have gotten that as well. Disappear without a trace? Fake ID? How???

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