Most of the articles I’ve read about relationships center on how to get a girl to like you, how to get a guy to like you, how to attract a girl or a guy, how to get a girl or guy back. But the one thing that I don’t see often, if at all, is how to keep your guy or gal interested in you for the rest of his or her life.
This may sound a little too ambitious for the average writer but, think of it this way, you finally meet the man or woman of your dreams, you date, you have your usual fights as most couples do, you get married and, with or without children, you’re talking about getting a divorce and splitting assets.
Over the years, my clients have opened up about their relationships and why they think they failed. For one thing, people change, their expectations change, and their spouse no longer looks at them with stars in their eyes. And that’s the key. Their spouse no longer looks at them with stars in their eyes.
Getting someone to like you or be attracted to you is the easy part. Falling in love with your spouse over and over and over again, is the hard part. And, yes, it does take falling in love with your spouse repeatedly to keep the spark alive.
Communication, or the lack of communication seems to be the big bugaboo, but didn’t you notice this when you fell in love with each other? Why did you get married to him or her? What made you want to spend the rest of your life with him or her?
Those are probably the big questions because they tell the story of what a couple has going for them. Life does get in the way countless times, but didn’t life get in the way when you were so busy falling in love? How did you overcome the obstacles at the beginning of your relationship?
If you want to keep the love lights burning, go back in time to your earliest memories of your spouse and the reason you were so much in love that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him or her. It doesn’t happen by chance; it happens when two people are committed to each other and they love each other as much now, as they did when they were dating.
Sure, there are major problems now that weren’t there when you first fell in love with each other, but the mechanics are still there. If you suddenly decide you’re bored with your spouse and you feel trapped by marriage, ask yourself what changed, and what part did you play in those changes? And then get back to looking at your spouse as if he or she is the most important person in your life.