I Love You, Love You, Love You

September 19, 2015

When you’re in a new relationship, or in a relationship that hasn’t had time to mature, the three hardest words to say to your partner is often, “I love you.”

Most people don’t like putting themselves on the line. They want to wait until their partner says those words first. And if they do gather up the courage to say those words first, they want to hear them in return right after that.

There’s nothing quite like holding your breath and wondering if you have just made the most colossal mistake. “Did I say it too soon?” “Why isn’t he or she saying anything?” “Does he or she love me?” “Should I have waited longer?” “Was I rushing things?”

Some people are more impulsive than others; they want it out on the table and they don’t want to wait. Others need time to let it settle over them, to see if it’s lust or love and they don’t want to be pushed into making such a momentous decision without giving it a lot of thought.

If you’re one of those people who has poor impulse control, chances are you’re going to be very hurt and disappointed if you don’t hear the I love you words back immediately. In all probability, the
person who wants immediate reassurance is going to push too hard and make the other one feel suffocated to the point where s/he wants out of the relationship.

It’s no good telling a person that they have only been dating a few months and a relationship needs time to grow and develop; it’s an argument that usually falls on deaf ears. They don’t want to hear the truism, “Marry in haste; repent at leisure.” They want a commitment NOW and they want to start planning the rest of their lives as a couple NOW!

While the I love you words are nice to hear, some people have difficulty saying them and they often think their partner should know that they are loved. Unfortunately, many people are insecure and need to hear those words from time to time, or even all the time.

But words are not enough and even grand gestures are not enough. It’s the day-to-day actions that are important. It’s being considerate of your partner, respecting each other’s boundaries, not taking advantage of your partner, not taking each other for granted, and restraining yourself from pushing each other’s hot buttons in an argument that demonstrate your love much more than hearing the I love you words. In other words, especially in this case, actions speak louder than words.

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