Many of my clients are in their late thirties and they have always had a fierce yearning to be a mother, but they wanted to be married before having children. Some of them had abortions when they were very young because they weren’t ready to deal with pregnancy and the consequences of not being allowed to attend classes with their friends.
And then there are others who wanted a foothold on a career first, before starting a family, so they weren’t in a rush to find a husband. Now, years later, with no marriage prospects in sight and, varying degrees of success or lack of success in their careers, they don’t want to miss the motherhood experience.
Some women knew they wanted to concentrate on a career, so they made the decision to freeze their eggs and hold off on marriage and family until they had achieved their goals. For them, single parenthood is a viable option and they can afford to wait for Mr. Right, instead of settling for Mr. Right Now.
Many of my clients genuinely want to be mothers. They are at a point in their careers where they can afford to bring a child into their lives. They have flexible hours, some working from home and some who combine working at the office with working from home. Most of them are financially stable.
But, then, there are some who only want to have a child for someone to love who will love them back. I worry about those clients because I know that if you are very lucky you will have a child who doesn’t go through typical teenage angst where parents can do nothing right.
And what do you do if your child rebels and wants to spend his time with his friends and not with you? This is part of a child’s developmental stage and you need to be able to handle it emotionally without feeling like you’re a failure as a parent.
Parenthood is difficult, with or without a partner. Aside from having someone to share those first six months with you when neither of you can get any sleep, there are myriad decisions to be made that will affect the future of your child and, if you are a single parent, those responsibilities fall on your shoulders.
If you are prepared to handle all the variables and still want a child, go ahead with it; it’s a very rewarding experience.