Most people who file lawsuits do so for vengeance, justice, anger, retribution, or money. However, there are some people who go into court for a completely different reason; these are the people pleasers who are trying to learn how to stand up for themselves.
It may not sound like a good reason to sue someone but, for people who have spent a lifetime trying to please everyone and avoiding conflict at all costs, it’s the very best reason to go to court.
We’re not talking about a frivolous lawsuit. We’re talking about something that is so despicable that it causes the victim enormous stress and/or financial loss.
People pleasers may seem like they are laid back and aren’t adversely affected by someone’s contemptible actions but, the reality is that their anger seethes below the surface, causing them untold grief. If they can’t resolve the problem amicably, and their distress escalates to unmanageable levels, it’s best to go into court and have a judge or jury settle the issue.
For most people, the thought of suing someone is so stressful that they put up with a lot of abuse before they take legal action, and people pleasers take a lot more abuse than most people before they are roused to do anything about the situation.
The average people pleaser will wallpaper over his emotional meltdown and tell you that it’s not so bad or that it would cost more money in legal fees than it’s worth. They will even have a case of selective memory and forget the pain they have endured so they aren’t forced to take a confrontational action like going to court.
But, for those people who have been working on their self-esteem issues and, have come to the conclusion that the only way they will ever be able to respect themselves is to stand up for themselves, going to court to correct an intolerable situation is the ultimate test of their courage.
The outcome of the case is not what’s important. It doesn’t matter if they win or lose; what matters is that they stood up for themselves and, for that brief moment in time, they stopped worrying about anyone else’s opinion of them and they stopped trying to please everyone. For someone who has always been a people pleaser this is the ultimate victory.