Did you ever look at the contents of women’s magazines? One of the things that stands out is that those magazines always had articles about how to please your man, yet none of the men’s magazines had articles about how to please your woman.
I take that back. The only way those men’s magazines discussed how to please your woman was to talk about the “things” that women like. Consequently, they showed pictures of diamonds, big houses, stylish clothing, and whatever status symbols were the current rage.
The women’s magazines had articles about how the woman should wear sexy lingerie, treat her man like a king, i.e., “a man’s home is his castle,” etc., and be his fantasy lover while taking care of the kids, running a household, and being his attractive social secretary who can also entertain his business associates.
The men’s magazines, on the other hand, didn’t have articles about how a man should keep his body toned and fit so that his woman won’t look at other men. They didn’t have articles to tell men how to be a better lover, or how to meet a woman’s sexual and emotional needs, or how to make her feel special.
I wish I could say that the articles in women’s magazines about how to please your man were written by men, but they weren’t. They were written by women and they influenced generations of women about their role in life, and that role in life was to please men.
Even decades later, one of the trailblazers for women, Facebook’s COO, Sheryl Sandberg, wrote her book Lean In, telling women they can climb the corporate ladder and be leaders in their field by taking the soft approach. Why should women have to take the soft approach? Why aren’t men told to take the soft approach?
Women don’t have to act like men but they shouldn’t be told that their success depends on how well they can please people. They shouldn’t have to walk on tiptoes when they want to ask for a pay raise or a promotion. They shouldn’t have to “make nice” when they want to disagree with a man.
We’re still sending the wrong message to women. We should be telling them that if they want something, there’s nothing wrong with going after it without apologizing for their ambition or their different points of view. They shouldn’t have to “make nice” to get what they’ve earned.