When you’re young, you have romantic dreams of eyes meeting across a crowded room and knowing right away that this is the soul mate of your dreams. You see yourself walking toward your destiny as the two of you meet in the middle of the room.
At this point, you should be hearing a drum roll in your head to signify this important meeting.
I think most people start out looking for that Grand Passion, that overwhelming chemistry that tells you that this relationship is forever, only to discover that this relationship is for however long you are sexually attracted to each other.
For some, that lust turns into love; for most others, it’s an itch that needs to be scratched, a fire that burns itself out after the desire has been satisfied.
Perhaps movies and romance novels contribute to the expectations of what love should be about but I think people have always held dreams of the kind of partner they want long before there were such things as movies and romance novels.
While it’s true that no one can possibly measure up to the hero or heroine in a book or movie, there are still some indicators along the way that should tell you what to expect if you marry the person you are dating.
Some people need the words of love and some people feel that actions speak louder than words. Whichever it is, find a partner who can give you what you need or you will always be yearning for something you can’t have.
We always hear people talking about it being time to settle down and start a family. And “settle” is the dangerous description of what people do when they reach a certain age.
It leads people to look for a suitable marriage partner with whom they share at least a few common interests, rather than look for someone who makes their heart beat a little faster.
And this is where infidelity rears its ugly head; even if love seems to be elusive, one or both of them want that breathtaking feeling of passion so they seek it in other partners.
I think it makes more sense for a person to keep looking for that special someone than to “settle” for the sake of “settling” down.
In fact, I’d tell them, instead of marrying someone you don’t love, get a dog . . . get a cat . . . Get goldfish. But don’t get married.