She’s Not a Horse

January 2, 2017

He wondered if she had all her teeth. She seldom smiled, and when she did, she put her hand over her mouth. If he were at a horse auction, he could have had the seller or the auctioneer open the horse’s mouth so he could examine her teeth for himself, but since this was a social event, the only thing he could think of doing was to try to make her laugh.

He told some amusing stories and all she did was smile. Not a big smile, just a wee bit of a smile with a closed mouth to assure him that she understood the joke. Everyone else in the group laughed, so why didn’t she think it was funny enough to merit even a wide smile? He would have even settled for a little smile, but nothing was forthcoming.

Just as he was starting to get frustrated with his inability to make her smile, she stood up and moved over to another group. Now that really annoyed him. He had just wasted an hour of his time trying to find out if she had all her teeth, and she didn’t even excuse herself. She just stood up and went over to another group.

I’m glad I didn’t go into dentistry, he thought. Could you imagine having her as a patient? Open wide. No, you’ll have to open wider than that.

He wasn’t the kind of person to give up easily and he had determined that he was going to see if she had any teeth and if they were yellow or crooked, so he kept following her around the big ballroom keeping out of her line of vision but keeping her face in his sight. And all this time he kept asking himself why this fascination with her teeth.

She wasn’t all that pretty and her face was only somewhat symmetrical, but he couldn’t stop himself from wondering what her teeth looked like and what her face would look like if she smiled at him. He doubted if he would have even wanted to ask her on a date, he just wanted to see her smile.

About ten minutes later, a friend of his walked over to where he was standing and began to chat with him. He didn’t want to appear rude so he stood there for a couple of minutes, keeping the woman in his sights.

All of a sudden, the door opened and he saw the woman leaving the party. He made his excuses to his friend and rushed as fast as he could to reach the woman before she left the party. By the time he got to the door, walking as fast as the crowded ballroom would allow, all he could see of her was the back of her head and, to his dismay, he heard her laughing very loud, smiling at her friends as she drove off with them in their car, her head facing the opposite direction from where he was standing.

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