Starting Over

May 6, 2014

Whether you’ve just gone through a divorce, been fired from your job, moved to another state or country, or widowed, the prospect of starting over can be overwhelming.

For those who are in the business world, it’s slightly easier. Their jobs take up a large portion of their days, but for those who are divorced and raising a family, it can be much more difficult.

If you have moved, leaving behind your family and friends, the loneliness can creep up on you and depression can set in. Unless you moved into an area where there are others in similar circumstances, making new friends and establishing a new support group can be very disheartening.

Most people who are starting over say they can get through the days, but it’s the nights that are the most difficult because people are busy with their loved ones at that time. And weekends are the worst because everyone seems to have someone except you.

Joining organizations are a good starting point but all too often, when the meetings are over, no one wants to go out for a cup of coffee with the newcomer.

One of the less challenging ways to meet people through these organizations is to volunteer for a committee. You’re interacting with a small group of people rather than the entire membership and that makes it easier to get to know a few of them at a time.

If you’re a stay-at-home mom or someone who works from the house and you can’t get to the meetings, one of the most effective ways to meet people is to take on the chairmanship of the telephone committee. You’d be surprised how many people feel more comfortable confiding in you by telephone than they ever would in person.

But most of all, if you’re going to join organizations, only join the ones that interest you. If you’re an indoors kind of person, don’t join a horticultural group or bicycling group. If you’re an outdoors person, don’t join a sewing club or a book club that meets in someone’s house.

As long as you’re starting a new life, start the way you mean to go on. If you sign up for the things that interest you, the likelihood is that the people you’ll be meeting will share your interests and that will be the beginning of your new life.

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