A couple of decades ago, one of the women on my message board posted a note saying that she and her boyfriend were getting married and they made a pact not to have children. At that time, it was a major decision and she didn’t know what our reaction was going to be but she wanted to share it with us. She needn’t have worried. Publicly, we all supported her decision but, privately, many of the women were secretly longing …
There’s an old saying, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” But what if we’re fooling ourselves? Think of the myriad ways we fool ourselves about little things. We look at people and only see what we expect to see; we don’t look for things that are out of character for them. It’s as if we give permission for them to hide in plain sight. We hear what we want to hear and we block …
For years, I’ve heard about homeless people going into the rest rooms of gas stations, colleges, libraries, and restaurants to wash up and take a bird bath. I’ve always wondered how they can go on job interviews with dirty clothes and, possibly, smelly bodies, or if they just give up and don’t try to get a job. There is such a bias against homeless people, as if their homelessness is contagious. Society even veers away from those who used to …
You have just had your performance evaluation and it is atrocious. Did you deserve it? Did you see it coming? Did your manager communicate his or her concerns regarding your performance since the last one you received? A good manager gives you constructive feedback and it’s up to you to make the necessary changes. But what happens when there is a personality clash and your manager has tunnel vision when it comes to seeing how you really perform in your …
Bigotry isn’t inborn; it’s taught. There are many factors that contribute to it, but, essentially, it’s an attitude that one grows into starting with your family, and then your peers, your employers, and your life experiences. We can start with the conversations that take place in your home. Long before you develop your own thinking styles and your own opinions, you are like a sponge, absorbing the words and attitudes of the family members around you. The first time I …