Tag Archives: chores

There Are No Free Lunches

Our society has changed so much. In my day, it was a given; if you wanted something, you worked for it. If it costs more than you made. you saved up for it. You were not entitled to anything. If you were part of a family, you were expected to do chores. And then there was the issue of an allowance. Are children entitled to an allowance if they don’t do anything to earn it?? I think children need to …

Talking to a Brick Wall

Did you ever feel that you were talking to a brick wall? Recently, I’ve been watching this in action with a mother. I keep hearing her say the same things over and over to her child and she thinks it’s penetrating. But, it’s not. It only looks like it is. “Do you want to grow up to be like your father?” The implication is clear. His father is lazy, lacks ambition, isn’t too smart, does the barest amount of work, …

Cinderella, the Ultimate Stepchild

Cinderella might have been our society’s earliest awareness of the hardships encountered in a blended family. But, whereas the prince rescues Cinderella and carries her off into the sunset for their happily-ever-after ending, most families don’t have that happy ending. When a divorced parent remarries, it can be hard enough on the children, especially when they keep hoping and praying that their parents will get back together. When there are children from that marriage, whether they are going to live …

Do Equal Chores Mean Less Sex?

Presumably, from the beginning of time, men equated the division of “female” chores and “male” chores with the frequency of sex. In the earlier studies, probably done by men, they found that when women did the cleaning, child rearing, grocery shopping, cooking, etc., and the men did the “manly” things like changing the lightbulbs, mow the lawn, handle the family finances, etc., they had more sex. I’m sorry I didn’t conduct my own studies in those years because I distinctly …

Laziness and Procrastination

While I realize that procrastination is not another term for laziness, I’ve also seen how procrastination can engender laziness. Procrastination can start out as a fear of failure or a dozen other root causes, but after a while, you can get so accustomed to not pushing yourself to do anything difficult, that you stop trying. It’s the part about giving up and giving in that seems to have such a damaging effect on one’s life and distorts one’s perception of …

Men for Rent

The concept of renting a man has gone through some evolutionary changes. One of my earlier clients was a paid escort. He was usually paid by the evening or by the week and he was required to know all the social skills. He escorted women to weddings, charity events, family reunions, and vacations all over the world so they wouldn’t have to go to those functions alone. Sex was optional. The paid escort was different from a gigolo in that …

Out With the Old; In With the New

There are just so many things you can do in the course of a day and, no matter how industrious you are, and no matter how much energy you have, you still can’t squeeze twenty-seven hours into a twenty-four hour day. In the old days, I used to feel guilty if I didn’t have time to do everything that needed to be done or that I wanted to do. Eventually, I came to the conclusion that guilt is a wasted …

Teen Sues Parents

Does any adult past the age of thirty-five remember not having arguments with your parents? It has always seemed like a rite of passage . . . feeling like you are being treated like a child, feeling like you want to leave home, feeling like you can’t do all the things you want to do. Somehow, it goes with the territory. But, here’s the thing. If you’re old enough to leave home, then you’re old enough to make your own …

In Search of Praise

Society’s standards have changed greatly since my childhood. In centuries past, children were expected to perform certain chores and to achieve different goals, and no fuss was made when tasks were completed. Praise was meted out for extraordinary accomplishments, not for jobs that were expected of them. We’re now living in a “feel-good” society where people expect praise for merely doing their job. It’s not enough to thank someone; if you don’t also praise him for doing what he was …

Chores vs. Allowance

There has always been an age-old dispute over chores vs. allowance. Children want the allowance and parents want the chores. There are compelling arguments for both sides. It is a parent’s right to expect each member of the family to do some chores. Now, I’m not talking about the Cinderella Syndrome; I’m talking about things like making your bed every day, doing some of the housework, clearing your dishes from the table after you’ve eaten, keeping your room clean, etc. …

Connie H. Deutsch