After watching generations of women give up their dreams of a career and success in favor of marriage, and then watching them struggle for survival after a messy divorce, when I got into the counseling field, I decided to tell women to concentrate on their career before they looked for a life partner. I wanted to make sure they always had a way to earn a living no matter what curve balls were thrown at them. When you’re young, in …
While some people torment themselves ad infinitum, going round and round, asking themselves why something happened or didn’t happen, there are so many other people who never ask themselves that question. They make a general assumption but never delve further. There’s a difference between never asking yourself what went wrong, in the hopes of coming up with an answer that will help you not to repeat an action, and not questioning themselves deeply enough, if at all. When someone walks …
It’s an odd realization to know that people often think that the grass is greener on the other side. We look at people in the news and think that their lives are richer, more interesting, more financially stable than ours, and it diminishes what we have in our own eyes. People often look for the fairy tale version of life rather than look at the way it really is. And, who can blame them? Reality often sucks. It’s hard. it’s …
The better question would be, why do we expect so much from our family and friends that we leave ourselves open to disappointment? In times of trouble, most people go to their family or friends for emotional support some, even, for financial support. But, do we have the right to expect them to drop everything and help us through our crises? It usually depends on the type of relationships that are in place. On a good day, we can acknowledge …
There have been many stories about matriarchal societies but the ones that stand out are the ones that have their origin in myths and folklore about the Amazons. They were said to be the most powerful women in the world and they excluded men from their society; they even went to war against them. And now there is a town in Brazil called Noiva do Cordeiro, which translates to “Bride of the Lamb.” Most of the residents are women between …
The best time to fix anything is when you first become aware that something is not right. It doesn’t matter if it’s the beginning of a cold, a terminal illness, or a relationship. If you can get it when it’s first happening, you have a much greater chance of healing than if you wait until more symptoms develop. Relationships are a bit more dicey than most things because it involves another person. If it’s the beginning of a cold or …
When I was seven, an old woman told my mother that I had given her advice about one of her problems and she pointed to me and told my mother, “Such an old head on young shoulders.” I was telling my friend about this experience and remarking on the fact that total strangers have always approached me with their problems and she told me that it was hard for her to believe because strangers never approached her with their problems. …
Have you ever wanted something so badly that you couldn’t let go of the idea and then, when you finally got it, you lost interest in it? When it’s an inanimate object and you don’t want it anymore and you cast it aside, no harm, no foul. But when it’s a child, it’s a different story. Many couples want a child but aren’t able to have one so they turn to adoption. In this country, most adoptions are difficult to …
I have always been a strong advocate of marrying for love. I didn’t think there was anything that could replace that heady feeling. that feeling of walking on air, that breathless feeling you get when you hear your lover’s voice. But. I’m starting to wonder if I’ve been living in a fool’s paradise. With the enormous divorce rate and the extremely high rate of infidelity among married couples, the thing that rattles around in my mind is that there are …
I just read a disturbing article about customer service representatives having to lie to their customers to keep their employers happy. They were told to lie about cancellation fees, services provided, interest rates, and other assorted policies. In the old days, that was true in a lot of instances. I’m one of these people who takes down the name of the person I’m speaking to, the team leader, the ID number, the city and state of the service center, and …