The World’s Oldest Profession

May 16, 2013

I’m trying not to laugh too hard but it’s difficult to keep a straight face while I’m writing this.

The police just broke up a prostitution ring at a senior citizen housing complex, so you could say that the world’s oldest profession was doing business with the oldest customers at the oldest house.

The old saying, “A house is not a home” is no longer the truth because in this case, the “house” is their home.

I guess this answers the question of whether to put granny in an old age home or an assisted living home. My guess is that either one would be OK as long as she has multiple sex partners to keep from getting bored.

This certainly beats the usual pastime of playing shuffleboard during the day and cards at night.

I’m thinking of my own parents and grandparents and having a difficult time imagining them using these services or supplying these services, but then, again, children usually can’t imagine old people having sex, let alone taking part in a prostitution ring.

In this case, a 75-year-old man was accused of employing some elderly residents as sex workers. They were also accused of allowing residents and visitors to use crack cocaine in their apartments.

People in this age group weren’t even part of the hippie generation where they got stoned every night and spoke like Valley girls or guys. This age group belonged to the establishment, the ones the hippies condemned for being square.

One can only assume that, aside from boredom and aside from the truism, use it or lose it, these senior citizens may feel that they missed out on too many things. They may be making up for lost time and wanting to walk a little on the wild side before they die.

The owners and workers who ran the prostitution ring may have been supplementing their Social Security income, while their customers may have been using their retirement funds for having a good time instead of leaving their money to their beneficiaries.

And these aren’t even the baby boomers. I can’t wait to see what they get up to when they get to that age. It’s certainly a different world of retirees than when the Social Security fund was established in the 1930s. Should I say, Viva la difference?

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