True Confessions

September 1, 2013

The getting to know you phase of dating can be very tricky. While it’s true that you don’t know someone until you live with him, it’s also true that you have to know when it’s all right to bare your soul to someone new.

I’m a believer in getting the elephant in the room out of the way as soon as I can. If that means losing a potential friend or lover, so be it. Better early on than after a lot of time and emotions have been invested in the relationship.

There are certain things that are very private and I don’t advocate disclosing them unless it has the potential to harm either you or the other person at a later time.

Many people are of the opinion that you are not giving yourself a chance if you confess personal things before the other person has had a chance to fall under your spell, e.g., your scintillating personality or your shrewd business acumen. They feel that there are some things that, once confessed, will send the other person running in the opposite direction.

If someone is going to run in the opposite direction from something you’re disclosing about yourself, they will most likely do so in spite of your wonderful personality or business sense. And isn’t it better to cut them loose at the beginning of the dating stage than after you have had a lot of time to become very emotionally invested in the relationship?

To each his own but I’ve seen how hard it is for most people who are mentally planning their happily-ever-after with someone only to discover a fatal flaw that makes them walk away from the relationship after dating them exclusively for a long time.

There are certain peccadillos that can wait for disclosure until you have had a chance to put your best foot forward but the serious issues will probably always be a stumbling block even after you have had a chance to put your best foot forward.

So, why wait until you are heavily invested in the relationship to find that you will have to start over with someone new? Get it out of the way as soon as you can and let the chips fall where they may.

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