When Should You Marry?

December 2, 2014

We keep hearing that the more things change, the more they stay the same and, to a certain extent they do although, in so many other instances, they don’t.

Take, for example, the way little girls were known for dreaming of their wedding day. Long before they even knew what dating was, they started dreaming of the fairy tale wedding. It might start out with the wedding gown, itself, but then it expanded to the perfect venue and the gorgeous wedding cake.

Many girls dreamed of the event, itself, some with doves being released right after the marriage vows were said. It didn’t seem to matter what the groom looked like or even what he was like, the wedding went on around him, and he could be slotted in at a later date.

Now, here it is, so many centuries later, with the various waves of Feminism, with women fighting for equal pay for equal work, with women being the dominant part of the workforce, and little girls are still dreaming of their wedding day, showing that some things never change.

I keep seeing reminders all around me, attesting to the fact that things are not the same, e.g., cell phones, iPads, women legislators and women appointed to the Supreme Court and, yet, some things are still the same, e.g., a little girl’s dream of her wedding day still has a foothold on the woman she has become.

You would think that with all the changes that women have been experiencing, the idealized version of their wedding would reflect these changes, but they have not. To this day, I still keep hearing women ask me, “When is a good time for me to get married?”

The first time a woman asked me that, I told her that I didn’t know that she was seeing someone. She told me that she wasn’t dating anyone special, she just wanted to know when it would be a good time for her to get married. I thought she was joking and I said, “When you find the right guy.” She wasn’t joking. She just wanted to know when she should get married.

Since that day, I have encountered so many women who, without even dating anyone special, want to know when it would be a good time for them to get married.

So, the more things change, the more some things really do remain the same.

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